“Some people come into your life and you just know you will never be able to replace them if they left.” –Unknown
In the above quote I could easily replace the word people with Zambians, and it would perfectly describe how I feel about the people I grew up with in Africa. Most foreigners we met in Zambia told my parents years ago that Zambia is the friendliest nation in Africa. Now that I am an adult and have traveled to a lot of different African nations, I whole-heartedly agree with that statement!
One of the reasons why the way of life in Zambia is quite different from the way of life in the United States is because it is a third-world country. The people are generally less privileged, poorer, and minimally educated compared to Americans, but their attitudes are far more grateful and kind than many other people around the world are. No matter what you do for them, Zambians are extremely thankful for anything that you help them out with because they have so little in life. Something that will always stand out in my mind is how quickly Zambians are willing to give you the biggest, whitest, most brilliant smiles, even though some of them literally have nothing in the whole world other than the clothes on their backs.
Although Zambians live differently than Americans do, the majority of them probably don’t live the way that most foreigners envision them to live. Growing up in Africa has spawned people to ask me some very interesting questions over the years whenever I would return to the United States for a furlough. To me, these questions were always incredulous because living in a foreign country was never foreign to me. Just to clear some things up because I know some people are still dying to ask, no, I have never been chased by cannibals, no, there are no tigers or jungles in Zambia, no, there is not a snake living under every rock, yes, the “natives” wear clothes, and no, I have never swung from vines in a tree like Tarzan does. It took me about 15 years to realize that some of these questions were actually pretty legitimate since Africa is perceived in such a different way across the United States. And why wouldn’t it be? When you’ve never lived there, these are things that normal Americans often wonder about. You read these incredible stories about nature and natives in history books and missionary accounts from people like David Livingston and Heinrich Barth, and they really make you wonder if Africa is like that. My only comment about this is that things have changed drastically over the last millennium and you won’t be as likely to get these sensational stories from missionaries anymore, at least not if they are completely truthful. This doesn’t mean that life in Zambia was boring though! I still have plenty of stories to tell, but they just might not be exactly what people are expecting to hear. Our home is located about 5 hours away from Zambia's capital. If you'd like to read about what life is really like in Zambia's largest city, click the following link. https://africa.com/real-life-lusaka-zambia/
One thing that usually surprises people when I talk to them about Zambia is the fact that the national language in Zambia is English, although there are 72 tribal dialects throughout the country. My family and I (as well as about 90% of the other missionaries we knew in Zambia) never learned any of the tribal dialects. I am often asked “why not?” since I was surrounded with different languages throughout my childhood. My answer is simple: I never had the opportunity or the need to learn a tribal language because every time I would try to practice my Bemba (the native language in our region) on a Zambian, he or she would respond by practicing his or her English on me. It went on this way for years, and thus, I don’t speak a tribal language.
Life is so much simpler in Zambia than it is in the United States, especially in the area of people being unmotivated to follow strict schedules. Even downtown you will rarely see people rushing about from place to place without taking the time to chat with a random stranger. It is culturally unacceptable to walk away without greeting someone, even taking the time to ask a complete stranger how his day is going. This is something I simply don’t see in the United States and I miss it. Americans spend their days rushing their kids to school and practices, going to work, to the gym, to social events, to church, barely taking the time to stop and breathe, and honestly missing the landmarks of life at times. I find myself doing the exact same thing whenever I am stateside. But, being busy like that is just not a way of life in Zambia.
The perception of time to Zambians is even different from many other cultures. While most parts of the world perceive punctuality as a sign of orderliness and as a necessity, Zambians take things at their leisure. If you need something done next week, it really doesn’t need to be done until next month. If a wedding is supposed to start at 10:00 in the morning, 2:00 in the afternoon is close enough. If you’re waiting to get into a store that’s supposed to open at 8:00 am, prepare for it to slowly open at 8:30. When you’re driving down the road nearly late for an appointment, don’t be surprised if the car in front of you stops in the middle of the road and clogs traffic so that the driver can talk to his friend for five minutes. That’s just the way things are done in Zambia! And the most amazing part about it is that almost nobody cares. People just wait and never complain. It really taught me and my family the great life lesson of patience.
Just as you see in the United States, there is a huge difference in behavior between the Zambians who live in the compounds, cities, and villages. In the city, people are more modern while the compound people are more backwards and the village people are more traditional. Zambians from the cities are increasingly being influenced by outside cultures due to social media, television, and the foreigners who they are exposed to. Village people often don’t speak English, stick to farming for a living, and survive day-to-day by what food they are able to produce for themselves. And compound people are often ill-behaved, poor, uneducated and rough because parents take time to drink but not take care of their kids. My parents generally worked with the city and compound people for the majority of my life, but sometimes separately worked with village people in a place about 1 ½ hours away from our home. Because of this, we were able to get a pretty broad perspective on the Zambian way of life.
Culture is perhaps the most important factor of every Zambian’s life. The philosophy is that if culture says it, it must be the right way to go even if facts are pointing the other direction. One sad example of this is how many Zambians still believe that malaria is a result of drinking bad water and not from getting bit by a mosquito. Another (more positive) example of culture is that Zambians often allow grandparents to be the ones to name the children when they are born because this is what has always been done.
One last thing that is incredibly different from the rest of the world are family relationships. A few things worth mentioning are the way that weddings and funerals are accomplished. Sadly, funerals are simply a time for distant family members to steal from the grieving family as much as possible, and the philosophy at every mealtime often includes the father eating first, followed by the mother, and then the children if there is any food left over. One thing that I never understood or appreciated is how Zambian kids never talk while they are eating because it is culturally unacceptable. But on that same note, the level of respect that Zambian youth have for their elders is incredible. Disrespecting an elder is something that never used to happened. There is even a special way that Zambian youths greet elders because a simple handshake is not respectful enough.
Truly Zambia is rich with people who are open and ready to be touched by people who can make a difference, spiritually and physically, and this is what my parents have been doing for the past 25 years. I just hope that one day I can say that I accomplished as much with my life as they have accomplished theirs. But for now, one thing is certain: whether in Zambia, Europe, the Middle East or the United States, everyone has a chance to make a difference right where they’re at. You don’t have to go to Africa to change someone’s life!